At some point with non-native speakers you're going to hit the problem that the order of adjectives is something like size, shape, type (and a few others) so you can have a big triangular wooden block. Except no native speaker thinks of it this way, unless perhaps they're a trained English teacher. Remembering if it's the green tall tree that sneezes or the other way round slows you down in both speaking and writing, though you get your meaning across.
I've told students before who can explain something well in a conversation but sound like robots once they're writing: record yourself speaking what you want to say, then listen to it and transcribe that (or let the computer do the last part and then check it's got it right). Or to read out loud a sentence they've written and ask if they have ever heard a person speak like that.
A couple of grades higher up, many people need about half the advice from Orwell's essay, particularly "Don't use a long word when a short one will do".
I don't know if this is what you consider to be the missing element, but you don't really mention much about how a sentence sounds. Rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration are important, even when something isn't going to be read aloud.
Another thing that I think my kids will love! I like The Writing Revolution, but it's always felt to me like it focuses so heavily on a few particular sentence formulas and I love the idea of including so many more. We enjoy MCT 4 level sentence analysis (which is kind of like diagramming) and I think matching those sentences to a sentence formula for a 5th level will be a fun addition!
My guess as to what's missing: a clear vision of why kids would *want* to do this, beyond that subset of kids for whom the progressive hands-off approach works anyway.
I gather why spelling, punctuation, capitalisation or small motorics can be a problem. But I feel confused why a kid who knows how to say aloud an interesting sentence has trouble doing the same in writing to the point of needing a proposal for sentence structure to fill in. Sounds like an artificial additional constraint which makes expressing oneself even more difficult! :)
How about lowering the difficulty by decomposing this long list of constraints into independent goals. For example let the kid ignore spelling and calligraphy when trying to write down the thought, and vice-versa: practice spelling without worrying about making sense. I am really surprised by your advice and would like to understand better what's going on in the mind of kids who struggle to write a sentence, but can communicate with voice without any issue.
Isolating skills is definitely helpful but I think that most kids do not actually speak in well written sentences (nor do adults). We have very different expectations for spoken language than for written language.
At some point with non-native speakers you're going to hit the problem that the order of adjectives is something like size, shape, type (and a few others) so you can have a big triangular wooden block. Except no native speaker thinks of it this way, unless perhaps they're a trained English teacher. Remembering if it's the green tall tree that sneezes or the other way round slows you down in both speaking and writing, though you get your meaning across.
I've told students before who can explain something well in a conversation but sound like robots once they're writing: record yourself speaking what you want to say, then listen to it and transcribe that (or let the computer do the last part and then check it's got it right). Or to read out loud a sentence they've written and ask if they have ever heard a person speak like that.
A couple of grades higher up, many people need about half the advice from Orwell's essay, particularly "Don't use a long word when a short one will do".
Subject, object is not a sentence, but a sentence is expected after the semi-colon.
I don't know if this is what you consider to be the missing element, but you don't really mention much about how a sentence sounds. Rhythm, rhyme, and alliteration are important, even when something isn't going to be read aloud.
Another thing that I think my kids will love! I like The Writing Revolution, but it's always felt to me like it focuses so heavily on a few particular sentence formulas and I love the idea of including so many more. We enjoy MCT 4 level sentence analysis (which is kind of like diagramming) and I think matching those sentences to a sentence formula for a 5th level will be a fun addition!
My guess as to what's missing: a clear vision of why kids would *want* to do this, beyond that subset of kids for whom the progressive hands-off approach works anyway.
I gather why spelling, punctuation, capitalisation or small motorics can be a problem. But I feel confused why a kid who knows how to say aloud an interesting sentence has trouble doing the same in writing to the point of needing a proposal for sentence structure to fill in. Sounds like an artificial additional constraint which makes expressing oneself even more difficult! :)
How about lowering the difficulty by decomposing this long list of constraints into independent goals. For example let the kid ignore spelling and calligraphy when trying to write down the thought, and vice-versa: practice spelling without worrying about making sense. I am really surprised by your advice and would like to understand better what's going on in the mind of kids who struggle to write a sentence, but can communicate with voice without any issue.
Isolating skills is definitely helpful but I think that most kids do not actually speak in well written sentences (nor do adults). We have very different expectations for spoken language than for written language.
My guess: the thing you talked about in the (teasingly named!) zombie curriculum: Why This Matters.